The ABCEDARIUS + Passions

Students at GCAA were given this final assignment for their creative nonfiction unit:

Assignment
You will write a personal essay combining factual information and personal anecdotes. You may choose to do research for your factual information or it may just be information you already know based on your life experiences. The point of writing a personal essay in an ABECEDARIUS format including factual information is to write about yourself, but sideways, from a specific, creative, interesting angle.

Format
Your personal essay will take the form of an ABECEDARIUS and it needs to be a minimum of 10 pages. Keep in mind that you can make lists as part of your ABC entries. Or for letter Q you can write a little quiz for your reader, as demonstrated in the sample essay we read. Some of your letters could be poems or raps. If you choose to make each letter the same length, 10 pages = 2-3 letters a page, as 26/10 = 2.6. Or you can challenge yourself to write a page for each letter and make it 26 pages.

See one of the following ABCEDARIUS essays:

Passions

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ABORTION

Are there only two options?
Pro-life or pro-choice?
Is it one or the other? Or neither?
Take the life of a child?
Or the life of a woman?
How about pro-both?
The belief that you can’t stand for life
Of an unborn child
If you stand for the life
Of a working woman
Is entirely ridiculous.
There is not one situation of pregnancy
Without an urgency
In some way.
Shape.
Form.
Of a fetus, baby—I mean, clump of cells.
Life isn’t
Yes or no
This or that
The value of life isn’t restricted
To that of a woman’s
Nor that of a child.
But the importance of choices
Cannot be overrated.
Stop narrowing down opinions
Whittling down thoughts and specific cases
Until you are left with
Two frail pieces of idea
With no reason or logistics.
Statistics.
Shut down Planned Parenthood despite them.
Swallow the lies
To protect YOUR truth.
Because “religion” to protect the life
Of something you could care less about
Is like everything else.
Mine or nothing.
Ignorance isn’t bliss.
Ignorance is choosing:
“Pro-life or pro-choice?”

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Recipe for BAD PARENTING

Makes 10 servings of ill-natured children
Cook time: 18 years

1 cup of begging your child to do things
2 ½ cups of zero punishment
A teaspoon of unnecessary aggression
¼ cup of the “no-spanking policy”
5 tablespoons of bad role model
A pinch of fear

*Be sure to never make them clean up their own mess.

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CULTURE ABROAD IN COMPARISON

-We don’t have real holidays. Just excuses to get drunk and make mistakes. If we do celebrate a holiday with tradition, most don’t even know how it originated.

-We don’t understand the concept of interacting with people face-to-face. Everything is texting and calling. We’ve lost almost all sense of community. Countries like Africa, India, China, Myanmar all live in a way that SHOULD be desirable to us. Their neighbors and friends are family. When one is in need, an entire village is there to help.

-Our music doesn’t have much meaning anymore, aside from sex, money, and drugs. Go to almost any other country and listen to music that translates to stories of love, triumph, nature, etc. This isn’t to say that there isn’t any dirt in it. There is industry like that everywhere, but most countries have more creative and uplifting messages to send.

-Language. Almost every non-English speaking country has another, more respectful, form of speech used specifically for occasions when one converses with an elder or someone “higher up”. Sure, there is slang. But people seem more aware of the right situations for it in countries abroad, than here in the States. Somehow, people around here think it is perfectly acceptable to speak to their grandmother the way they speak to their “homies”.

-People here don’t understand how incredibly blessed they are to have the things they do. It is always about buying things you don’t need because you think it will make you happy or successful. Even some of the lowest class citizens have more to be thankful for than an entire South Indian village, but somehow, they know how to be thankful and happy without a flat-screen TV or the next iPhone.

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DEALING WITH DEPRESSION and ANXIETY (5 steps)

  1. Depression is a mental illness. It is not expected of you to be able to turn it on or off. Cut off anyone who makes you feel like you should be able to do that.
  2. It’s not your fault. Despite what anyone tells you, there is no such thing as a “mess up.” You are perfect the way you are.
  3. There is no such thing as “normal.” Normal is whatever you tell yourself it is. Try not to set standards for yourself. If we were all meant to look, act, and feel the same, the world would be a very boring place.
  4. There are going to be days where you feel like nothing. Where you feel like doing nothing, saying nothing, and feeling nothing. That comes with depression. Know that it is okay to ask for help and to talk about these feelings. In fact, it is very helpful.
  5. Surround yourself with the sort of influences that build you up instead of tear you down. If, at any point, someone or something seems to be making you feel like less important or less than the beautiful person that you are, make the decision to cut those people of. If you have a hard time doing that, again, ask for help.

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EVOLUTION vs. RELIGION

Everyone thinks that you can’t have religion if you believe in the theory of evolution. The idea that humans, and all of creation, evolved over time. This is huge misconception. I know many scientists that were very strong Christians. There is no boundary that lies between the two. Even the Big Bang Theory goes hand in hand with this. God created the earth, but started with light. Boom. Light. In the Bible, God created the earth in seven “days.” Now, the word that we see on the pages of the Holy Book says “day,” but in the original script the word used was just a measurement of time. It did not necessarily mean 24 hours. So one “day” could really be an entire era. In conclusion, there is no such thing as “evolution vs. religion.”

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Are you a FAKE FEMINIST? Take the Quiz!

  1. Do you constantly blame men for various world-wide societal problems? (“Men are always rapists;” “Men only want us to fail”)
  2. Do you hate it when the man on the date insists on paying the bill?
  3. Are you offended when someone holds the door open for you?

If you answered yes to any of the three questions above, you are a fake feminist. Feminism is about gender equality. Not sexism. Besides, men can be feminists just as women can.

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GOVERNMENT… AMERICAN GOVERNMENT.

A system in which white men work to gain more power and money for themselves, while complaining about the poverty in the places they have taken from. A structure built on great ideals, but ideals that are ignored or interpreted to the white man’s benefit.

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HOMELESSNESS

Problem created and unresolved thanks to an ignorant and lazy government. People believe that homelessness is due to bad decisions on the individual’s part (drugs, alcoholism, etc.), but a large percentage of the homeless population is where it is because of the city and state government. People will get laid off and become unable to pay rent and get evicted. Some people are running from unhealthy and abusive relationships. Another large percentage of the homeless population have mental illnesses and families who just don’t want to take care of them. People are ignorant to the real reason for problems like this. Ignorance isn’t a bad thing. It’s when ignorance turns into arrogance, prejudice, and hatred that it becomes a problem.

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INDIA

My absolute favorite place. Culture. Tradition. Family ideals. Gorgeous landscapes, monuments, temples. Diverse people, tongues, dialects. Happy sigh…

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JOHNNY DEPP

No words. Except…

  • The Invisible Man (2018)
  • Gnomeo and Juliet: Sherlock Gnomes (2018)
  • The Libertine (2017)
  • Fortunately, the Milk (2017)
  • Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016)
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2016)
  • Black Mass (2015)
  • Mortdecai (2015)
  • Yoga Hosers (2015)
  • Into the Woods (2014)
  • Transcendence (2014)
  • The Lone Ranger (2012)
  • Paul McCartney: My Valentine (2012)
  • Dark Shadows (2012)
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

And like…a million more. 🙂

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24 KARAT

Can’t use anything else for my ears or they will swell up to the size of raisins (which doesn’t sound very impressive, but when they turn the same shade…)

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LGBT COMMUNITY

Can’t stand those freaky gays taking over your block with their rainbow flags?
Can’t stand the amount of attention those she-males are getting?
Can’t imagine having to share a restroom with one of these creeps?
Well I’ve got just the thing for you!!!

*drum roll*

A reality check. This is the world we live in. A world where ignorant idiots like you attempt to depict what is the correct way of living. You are only making yourself miserable. Don’t try to chalk it up to religion. You know that’s not why you act this way. God never once said “judge the people around you.” In fact, He said the opposite. We are supposed to leave that to Him. You only act this way because you are scared to accept that there are other ways to love than what you are comfortable with. It’s okay to be uncomfortable, but it is not okay to judge someone else for what and who they love.

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MUSIC THEORY…a love poem ❤

You are my tonic ❤
I always coda back to you ❤
You save me from deceptive cadences ❤
You transpose my life for the better…key ❤
You are my chorus ❤
You are my first, second, and third inversion ❤
But not fourth…that’s only for 7th chords ❤
My heart crescendos at your contrary motion ❤
You are my Ionian and my Locrian. ❤
I’ll even put up with your annoying relative minors ❤
Because…you are my tonic. ❤

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NUDIST HERMIT

What I will become if Donald Trump becomes president.

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OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN

I am not an object
Created for your visual enjoyment.
Prostitution
Is not my employment.
My body is a temple
Of self-doubt and insecurities
Thanks to you and your
“Fat body remedies.”
I am not reusable.
Consumable.
I am not an object.

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PSYCH

A show, full of crime-fighting idiots, punny jokes, and pineapples (for the road).

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Q: Finding Something That Starts with It

-To begin, search google for “words starting with Q”.
-Realize that this much too broad a search and narrow things down.
-Isobel suggests “quail” but I have no such passion for tiny birds.
-I tell her to mind her “P’s and Q’s”.
-Search “quadrolingual” because you want to prove your side of an argument.
-No one wins the argument but you still need a passion starting with “Q”.
-Give up and write a not-so-funny tutorial on how to find a passion that starts with “Q”.

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RACIAL STEREOTYPES

DO NOT use them around me. If we aren’t close, I won’t say anything, but you can be sure I am planning your death (not really). But seriously, whether or not the stereotype is one that regularly proves to be true, it’s irrelevant. You should never shove a person into tiny boxed categories. Everyone is different, despite cultural norms. If you are meeting someone of a different culture, avoid questions based off of racial stereotypes. Chances are, you will offend them, but more likely, you’ll just look ignorant.

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STANDARDIZED TESTING

Something created by people who:

  1. Never intended to take one
  2. Think everyone learns the same way
  3. Wish very much for you to fail

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TEA: Sweetened with Honey

If the house is empty of all honey…there is no tea. I will not drink tea that is sweetened with sugar. A spoon full of sugar may help the medicine go down…but certainly not the tea.

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UGLY DOGS

Pugs. Unless the pug is mixed with something else, I will NOT call it “cute.”

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VEGETARIANISM

  • Something to be respected.
  • It’s not easy to have a completely different diet than the majority of the world.
  • Something to take seriously.
  • Don’t call yourself vegetarian but make excuses for every time you want to eat meat.
  • There are different types. Learn em’.
  • Vegan, Lacto Veg, Ovo Veg, Lacto-Ovo Veg, Pollotarian, Pescatarian, Flexitarian, etc.

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WEARING LEGGINGS AS PANTS

Just don’t do it.

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X-TRA CARAMEL

The way I like my caramel macchiato.
With x-tra caramel.

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YELLOW

The worst color of all colors.
I would choose puce over yellow.
It makes people too happy.
Blue should be the happy color.
Yellow should be the color people use
To describe that feeling you get when you
Step in dirty water with socks on.

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ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

I have come to the conclusion that I will be the first to die. No doubt. Don’t try to save me or have me on your team of zombie-killing gangstas; I’ll get everyone killed.

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